NIGHTINGALE DIAMONDS

IF NURSES WORKED LIKE MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL PLAYERS, we'd only have to pitch (work) just over half our shift, then another nurse could "relieve" us, and we'd still get paid for the whole thing.  

Or, when we stepped up to the plate (bedpan), and only emptied it 4 times out of 10 ...

Or, if we also didn't get a hit (give medications) to 6 out of 10 patients, we'd still be considered super nurses.

And, we'd get free uniforms, only have to work half the year and our average pay would be $3 million even if we're out sick.

Play ball.