WINTAH

No caption necessary....

(Thanks to Brad Fitzpatrick, cartoonist/illustrator extraordinaire, who rendered this timely image of me frozen atop my Harley for a Last Laugh humor column in NH Magazine.  Used here with permission.

  Copyright 2014 by Brad Fitzpatrick.) 

I CAN DIG IT

FOUND THIS OLD SIGN at the dump, and though the days when some strapping eager young person would arrive at your door, shovel in hand, offering to dig you out are long-gone, I put it in my window, anyway.

Besides, I just checked the weather report, and I'm in denial.

REVOLUTION EVOLUTION

I WANNA HOLD YOUR...CORN?

Fifty years ago, John, Paul, George & Ringo landed in America. I remember Dad at supper asking me and sister Sue: "Did you hear about a new band called 'The Beatles'"?

What a long strange magical mystery tour it's been since then.

THE TIMES THEY ARE A-STRANGIN'

I DIDN'T WATCH THE SUPERBLOWOUT, but I did see the news today on Bob Dylan's automobile commercial. Every day, more evidence that I've lived too long. The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the windshield....

EAT, DRINK AND BE, BUT DON'T QUOTE US

GREAT.

NOW, the "health experts" are telling me never to reuse my bath towel or walk in my bathroom barefoot, don't shampoo daily, always throw out my loofa after a week, trim my shower curtain, microwave my toothbrush, squat don't sit and wash don't wipe when I poop, and always put the lid down before I flush.

And, insomnia will make me fat.  Caffeine and chocolate ARE good for me (they change that position every other year), I SHOULD eat more (or fewer) nuts, drink more (or less) red wine, and now that another decade has passed, it's gone back to brush my teeth side-to-side, NOT up and down.

Howinhell have I lived this long....