PUNCTUAL OF OMAHA

DEAR MUTUAL OF OMAHA:

    I received your notice in the mail today, 08/18/2012, addressed to Judith Wallace, that she's been "pre-approved for $10,000 of Whole Life Insurance," and that she is "guaranteed acceptance, with no medical exam or health questions required."
    This is good news.
    As Judy's widower, I will submit the application and ask that you please make it effective retroactively from 04/28/2012, the day before she passed away.
    If this backdating business practice is good enough for GOP Presidential candidates, it's good enough for us.
    (P.S.: Confidential to your QA Department: You might examine what must be the substantial costs of sending out life insurance invitations to dead people. The grotesqueness of it aside, you might even be able to lower your customers' premiums, which are no doubt paying for such blatant mis-administration.")