HIGHS AND LOWE'S

KUDOS TO THE LOWE'S DELIVERY GUY, when he delivered my new white stove and dishwasher, and I joked (with all the seriousness I could muster) about how they would now clash with my old black refrigerator, and what was I to do?

He deadpanned: "Learn to live with diversity."

GET YOUR KICKS

I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND soccer riots.

I can appreciate people rioting over human rights abuses, animal cruelty, corporate thievery, even the loss of Twinkies, but going berserk and burning down the town because 11 guys couldn't kick a dimpled ball into a giant mosquito net ... well ... I'll never get it.