Saturday, February 2, 2013


Yes, Groundhog Day has come around again, and this year Punxsutawney Phil "emerged from his lair and didn't see his shadow," and we all know what that means:

1.   It's impossible to see your shadow when you're surrounded by men in top hats.

2.  Poor Phil didn't "emerge" from anything.  The aforementioned men in formal wear scooped him out of a box by the scruff of the neck.

3.  He's a GROUNDHOG.  He doesn't have a neck scruff, and howinhell do we know what he saw?

4.  Phil is wrong.  I saw my shadow this morning, and that means there will be six more weeks (and four days) of winter, because:

5.  The sunshine that caused my shadow also illuminated my wall calendar, and despite all my other failings and informal pajamas, I can still do simple addition.

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